Son, look out for a woman who’s not entirely the most attractive on the block. I am warning you! For your choice could come with its peculiar, unintended, agonizing headaches; especially when your insecurities are still competing hard against your sense of maturity!
Look out for that one with the ‘harmless’ hole within her heart. She’s the doughnut you don’t intend to rush to eat at a go. Meanwhile the hole within leads to a door in her heart. Therein is the space meant for only one! Work hard at that hole! Colonise it! Make that space your’s son! Rush through it and take it at a blow!
A woman with that ‘celestial’ initiative to still note some culinary potentials in a very soft, almost rotten plantain and thereupon fry that Dodo in a way to go well with a bowl of beans or rice is a Keeper! Dammit, she’s a prudent manager! A lifesaver! Her type is bound to watch over your resources diligently! She’s the kind to ‘soak’ a bowl of cold gaari garnished with icy cubes with no Kulikuli or groundnuts as accompaniments! She’s more likely to be there for you, or with you for better or for worse! She’s your ‘Ride Or Die Chick!’ Stick with her!
Observe her diligently son! Look at the unlikeliest places about her and around her to determine her hygiene routine. Check out her nails, her hair or weave, her feet and her shoes! Those places tell a lot about us all- male or female! Watch how she relates with kids, adults and the aged! Same way she would or could one day with your kids, yourself, your friends and evidently your parents!
Son, love her good when you’ve found yourself a gem! Speak well of her to her and to others- including total strangers! Pray for her and with her every night and each morning! Avoid as much as possible, the potentiality of her wrath! Avoid anything that could lead her to invoke curses upon you! For if you allow a woman ‘hex’ you out, boy you are doomed! Everything shall go wrong for you! You stand to lose everything you once reveled in. And I mean everything including your once tantalizing, early morning erection!
Give her love, more love, and crazy love! If you don’t give, you won’t get any! Give it to her even when such attempt tasks you terribly! Drink Burantashi; if need be, every night or, daily to afford you the needed energy to dig deep into her and stroke her in ways to mesmerize her! In about 15-20 minutes, or even 5 minutes, take her naked body and ‘clothed’ soul unto a journey of ‘pleasurable’ stupidity. She mustn’t travel that road alone, you must go along with her! Become her pet Monkey, eat her bananas, drink her juice and lick hard on her chocolate pudding! Son if you fail in this onerous duty- there’s always a reckless Journeyman, with no brains but an elongated ‘third-leg’ waiting around on an invincible queue to do the job for peanuts! In truth, there’s really no ‘G-spot’ bigger than a woman’s mind. Find your way in there, and you are home with her; away in Paradise!
Give her your ears to listen, to hear her even when your body and soul are tired. I don’t know why they love to repeat the same thing about a thousand times! I guess they view us as the most obtuse of the human species. Pretending to listen is nature’s way of men tuning out women for eons, without getting in any trouble. It’s another way of giving them the automatic attention similar to an out of the body experience. You are there listening, but not entirely there!
I’ve raised you well enough Wakilu to never disrespect a woman- any woman at all! Don’t be that idiotic son of the Blind, a boy with a warped sense of irony calling the Cripple dude nasty names behind him, or to his face! Drop any friend or acquaintance that shows evidence of intolerable traits in him towards them in a jiffy! Don’t follow the precepts of those silly entertainers whose lascivious duties towards numbskull Groupies must never be mistaken for charitable gestures towards real, intelligent women.
Never you ape that boy-wonder, or any of his ilk! I am talking about that musical Romeo with ‘loose-change’ in his bank account with his hurried fame bound to expire soon! That one maliciously spreading ill about some woman, who goes about supposedly with an ‘unclean’ spread. That’s wrong, terribly wrong! Don’t ever join an indecent, rancourous mob to verbally ‘lynch’ any of them either! And don’t you ever think of physically doing any woman, any harm too!
I have stood well enough for you to stand next to me. I have walked long, hard and well enough for you to follow my steps! I have given you more than enough cues for now to handle yourself with and around a woman in about 20 years from now! Son I have been with your mother practically all my life, it’s not a shame to admit it! I am still learning to fully understand her!
