WHILE many women and girls are being physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually abused, others find themselves in marriages of convenience.
Among them is a 44-year-old woman from Pretoria, who wishes to remain anonymous to protect her children. She said the 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children campaign should not only focus on those physically and sexually assaulted, but be extended to others being abused in other ways.
The campaign, in its fifth day, ends on December 10.
She spoke about the challenge faced by many women who were being used by foreign nationals wanting to access South African citizenship.
She said South African women found themselves married to men from other countries, and left to raise children on their own.
This was because the men they were married to had achieved their goal of getting the citizenship they wanted, she said.
“I am married to a Nigerian man, but now that he has the citizenship, he left to marry another woman in his country,” she said.
“I met him at a club, fell in love, he proposed and we got married in 2002. But we separated in 2009 when he told me he did not want me anymore.
“That was when I found out he had gone back to Nigeria and married another woman.”
Although she loved her husband, she said she realised that she had been in a fake marriage all along and had found herself in a situation she never thought she would.
“It is only when you are already in a situation that you see you have been used. Firstly, you get tricked that the parents can’t make it to the wedding due to finances or visa problems.
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“You are also forced into a polygamous marriage you do not know how you got into. The children start talking about half brothers and sisters you do not know about, and as a mother you just wonder how things escalated to that level,” she said.
The mother of two said she tried to divorce her husband, but failed as he did not want to sign the papers. She was instead threatened that she would suffer for the rest of her life.
“He threatens I will suffer although I am already taking care of our 15-year-old daughter and 12-year-old son by myself. This kind of relationship is not healthy for me or my children because we cannot have someone who just rocks up whenever he wants and leaves when it suits him.”
She also said, however, not all men were the same but the “majority” only married South African women for citizenship, and that women needed to be careful as the situation affected their children.
The Department of Home Affairs said there were 1 209 fraudulent marriages involving foreigners during the 2011/12 financial year.
It warned that the South African Citizenship Amendment Act imposed stiff penalties of up to 15 years in jail on both foreigner and the South African helping the foreigner to obtain citizenship by means of an illegal marriage of convenience.
But if a marriage was entered into without the consent or knowledge of one of the parties it was void, the department stated.
* For 16 Days of Activism to end violence against women and children, Independent Media will bring you stories behind the statistics. Please DONT LOOK AWAY. We can all make a difference by supporting victims and organisations working to build a future without violence.
Pretoria News
