Alright! It’s official. I, on this day, solemnly admit that I do not know how to prepare custard.
Do not look at me like that. Like that! Like I don’t know how to cook. I love cooking and contrary to what you might think, I am an excellent cook.
I make some mean dishes. You would eat my vegetable soup and forget your name not to mention my fried, jollof and local (ofada) rice; don’t even get me started on my mouth watering and delicious pastries but still I just can’t get a hang on preparing a standard custard. So don’t stand or sit there and laugh like you’ve never had a dish you just can’t seem to get right.
I started cooking early, in fact at the age of 9, I was single-handedly cooking for the whole family. But you see, right from my childhood, I never was a custard fan; it was cornflakes all the way for me! My mom was a workaholic career single mother so there was no way she was gonna have time to give cooking lessons. Most cooking was done by an aunt of ours. So I always insisted on cornflakes instead of custard. I ended up having meals like cornflakes and moi moi for breakfast when others took custard. Because of my dislike for the dish, I didn’t pay much attention to its preparation.
However when I was like eleven, my siblings and I went to live with our grandparents cos mum was outta the country. There, we were more involved in cooking. You would think I would finally get to learn how to make custard shey? For where! Even though my grandma was a cook at the then Gateway hotels, my grandparents were pap fans. My grandpa simply detested custard. So I picked up how to make pap instead (along side some other delicacies). Although, few times I do get it a wee bit wrong and I end up with a fairly watery or under cooked pap but I have a record of about 65%success.
Someone would say the process of making pap and custard are almost the same. Well that’s what I thought too until the day I decided to buy a small cup of custard and practice. It was then I realise that I suck at making custard. I am fairly good with making pap but I am terrible @making custard. The stuff comes out watery with thick lumps and yet still undercooked. Can you imagine?!
The process of making pap and custard might be similar but they differ in the sense that pap is much more adaptive, any mistake can easily be corrected but in the case of custard? No naa, you either get it wrong or right. There’s just too much calculation, the temperature of the water, the proportion of the custard powder, the pre-mixing, the stirring stroke while adding hot water…all just frustrating! So I give up! I am still not a fan of consuming custard and definitely not a fan of making it. #gbam
Note to future husband: please and please my love, do not love custard. I don’t wanna have to seek a doctorate degree in custard making. Thank you for understanding.
Yours forever,
Future wife.
TOM
Enjoy TOM, a young graduate every weekend as she thrills you with short, educative and entertaining story. She can be reached at [email protected].
