The Yoruba people are such a remarkable group,whom as part of a rich history uses proverb to drive home monstrous points which ones mouth can’t muster out. Well there is this peculiar proverb of theirs which says ‘ A kin tese bo omi tan ki ama kigbe otutu’ which in loose translation means you don’t dip your legs inside cold water and run about crying about cold. Back to the subject of mine discussion, although we are a country of extremely religious people yet the common civilised trait of tolerance doesn’t resides within our DNA. Whilst growing up I had this childhood friend who acted quite differently from other kids he was sort of feminine in his disposition. Still we were closed and share some intensely remarkable moments as kids. Few months back I met him on a busy street in Lagos, he wasn’t looking quite kept, instead he was learning a trade by the road side. Further probing reveal he wasn’t the only one of his kind born male yet acted and carry themselves as females. That isn’t a crime,what’s criminal is when we begin to deny access to education and a decent shot to life to people on the basis of how we perceive their sexuality.
Most times our culture teaches us the morality of ‘Culture Of Silence’ when we are told to cast out that imaginary demon that makes our lovely daughters act like tomboy or our sons act in such a strange ways like being a cross dresser(Denrele and Bobrisky comes to mind). Sincerely, I share some sentiments with the struggles faced by parents who’re grappling with the discovery that their beloved daughters/sons doesn’t love or chose to love in their manners. Rather than join the bandwagon of African parents to seek exorcing deliverance parents must come to the reality of human sexuality. They must strive to understand the ‘Sociology of Choices’ within our ever changing world,also we are mostly culpable as parents for the inability of our children to tell us about their sexual abuses by teachers,friends, relative amongst others(Due largely to long working hours). Over the years we’ve succeeded in killing the voice of our young ones to find and create certain identity (ies) for themselves because of our fear of religion and culture. Why can’t we take that leap of faith to love people first as humans before the steoretype of choices.
To my long silenced friends the burden of your pains and hurts is felt.
